“Not all those who wander are lost.” I think….

I forgot to pick my kid up from school one day. Yep. I got out of work a little early and I turned on my music and drove off into the sunset. I remember that drive home like it was last week. Well. It was last week. Nothing was different about that day. I fought with my daughter that morning about brushing her teeth. She stomped around because I didn’t have time to make her lunch. I had no milk in the fridge for her cereal. I wouldn’t let her wear the shirt she came out with, and I was dubbed the “worst mom in the world.” It was business as usual. Work was fine. My boss didn’t need to talk to me away from anyone else and I didn’t hang up on anyone. I didn’t even have to use my A.K. I gotta say it was a good day (Ice Cube…rap music…yeah, so….). I got home, out of my car, and something was missing. After a few choice words, I realized I forgot to pick my kid up from school. Not like…oopsy, silly me, I got off the wrong exit, let me turn around. I full on went home as if I was dunzo for the day. So, I went upstairs and….JUST kidding. I picked her up from school. I told her what happened and she laughed and said “Mommy, what were you even thinking about???” I thought pretty hard. All I could come up with was “absolutely nothing at all.”

I checked out of my world for a moment and it was G.L.O.R.I.O.U.S. I didn’t even think about what I was going to cook for dinner, or the fact that I needed to buy milk for the next morning. I just literally checked out. As parents, and in my case as a single parent, the weight of the world is super heavy upon our shoulders.  I feel like I have to do everything. When I leave my house in the morning, I can barely close my purse. I have my phone, my charger, my checkbook, a sandwich, aspirin, bills I have to pay on my lunch, permission slips, a sweater, highlighters (that’s legit. One day I found a highlighter in my purse and I don’t even know why). And all of those aforementioned items are things that I’m grabbing through the house as I’m trying to get out of it. It’s like I’m a crazy woman on a rampage getting ready for battle. I’m grabbing every single thing in my path that I think I may need at some point that day. I gotta be prepared for whatever anyone needs. When I’m at work, my mind wanders and it’s running wild and I’m checking personal texts and emails and making phone calls in between work and meetings and everything else. I’m presuming your life is just like mine. Our days are consumed by so much stuff. Soccer practice. Grocery shopping. Homework. Bills. Work. Shuffling kids from here to there. Eating on the go. Doctor appointments. Dental appointments. Sometimes, we need to shut it down.

Forgive yourself for not paying a bill on time. Forgive yourself for skipping soccer practice because it’s hot outside and you want to take your kid to ice cream instead. It’s ok if you get home and forget your kid at school (as long as you go pick them up after you realize it). Forgive yourself for not being able to make an assembly at your kids school because you have to work. Forgive yourself for not volunteering every weekend at church. Your Pastor is not going to stop loving you. We need to start forgiving ourselves for willing to not be everything to everyone all of the time.

This year, I decided to take a year off from a crazy life. My daughter has played soccer for the past 4 years. I wanted her to play this year, and I signed her up, but then things happened and practices didn’t work with my schedule. Lets talk about that for a hot second. Who has the brilliant idea to plan soccer practice from 3-4 on a Monday, 5-6 on a Wednesday, and 6-7 on a Friday. Do we still live in a society where most people don’t work? Or do we just assume that everyone is married or has significant others to help out with transporting kiddos to and from practice during normal work hours? These time frames are difficult, and I’m over them. But I digress. So I decided to look at this year as a blessing, really. I felt it was the universe telling me to slow it down. During school and especially soccer season, I tend to run myself ragged. So this year I decided to say no a lot more than I say yes.

It’s ok to wander from your normal day to day busy lives. We don’t have to go through our days getting ready for battle. This life really isn’t as complicated as we make it to be. We tend to fill our days with so many frivolous and time consuming tasks that our brains are on overload and we tend to overlook the most important ones. Like making sure you hold your daughters hand on the way to class. Or making the time to hear about your sons epic goal he made at practice. Over and over and over again.  Making a home cooked meal and eating at the dining room table and talking. Like, actual conversation, absent of television or cell phones or any other electronic devices. Or remembering to pick up your kid from school. Oops.